The Shopper's Guide to Feelin' Yourself in the Dressing Room

 
 

There's nothing quite as depressing as trying clothing on in a dressing room and NOT FEELING YOURSELF IN ANYTHING. If you're looking to amp up your wardrobe (you picked the right time, btw, summer sale season is HERE and I am LIVING), don't go near a shopping center without feeling your best. YOU DESERVE TO BE FEELINYA FEELINYA FEELINYASELFFF. Here's what I do before I do any serious shopping:

  1. Put on proper undergarments. This usually means a laser cut pair of underwear and a nude strapless bra (with straps on) so you are ready for anything that goes on that sessy bod of yours.
  2. Wear some neutral faves. Your favorite jeans, some understated heels (lifts the butt and makes the legs look 100, hence FEELIN' YOURSELF), a top that'll go with everything (think white, cream, black, chambray, etc.)
  3. Slap some make up on because those lights are unforgiving as heck and you want to look ALIVE.
  4. Squirt some mousse in that hair and treat yourself to a scalp massage for some lusciously voluminous locks.
  5. Poop. I don't know what it is, but every time I set foot in a mall, I have to crap my pants. I don't know what it is. I KNOW I CAN'T BE THE ONLY ONE. So if you're like me, plan ahead, buy a coffee at the food court, and hang out for 20 minutes so you can poop PRIOR to taking off all your clothes in a small room 300 feet away from the nearest expertly hidden bathroom. You'll feel better, too, 'cuz those poop endorphins are real and a less bloated belly will do wonders for your shopping experience.