Written by FF's contributing writer, Lily.
CN: sexual harassment and lots of profanity because that's how I feel! Note: I know it's not just guys that can possibly send dick pics (gender does not equal sex), but I think transwomen and nonbinary people with penises aren't socialized in the same way as to make this a common problem.
Goddammit, I hate getting dick pics that I don't fucking ask for. Most people I know would follow up that statement with, “Why the fuck do men do this!?! That can't possibly ever work!” I don't believe that men think sending their dicks to strangers is going to get them laid. I do believe they do it out of a mix of sexual entitlement and power assertion, and in that sense, I think it does work.
Getting an unexpected dick pic makes me feel sick to my stomach and small as shit. It's a vivid reminder that the sexual desires of men take precedence over my feeling of safety. After I swallow that gross-ass feeling, I get MAD. I don't exactly know how best to respond. I don't think I or anyone else is obligated to explain jack shit to these fucking assholes. Currently, when I receive an unsolicited dick pic, I write the harasser a message on why that's fucking wrong, send it, block them immediately, and then practice some self-care. Take care of yourself in whatever way makes you feel comfortable.
I'd like to note that one thing I sure as hell do not do is tell them their dick is small. Don't get me wrong, I TOTALLY want to! If you make me feel sick, I want to make your stomach drop, too! But telling them their dick is small sends a few messages I don't mean. First, it centers the conversation on their dick as a sexual object, which is exactly what they want. Fuuuuuuck that! Second, it says that this sort of unwanted exposure to their fucking penis would be welcomed if only their dick were bigger, which is so. not. fucking. true. Third, it says that the size of their dick means anything at all. Men are inundated with the message that the size of their dick makes them more of a man or whatever fucking bullshit. This thinking absolutely condones sending unsuspecting people unwanted dick pics. Telling these assholes that you care about the size of their penis reinforces this message. I refrain from calling their dicks small not because I give a fuck about their feelings, but because I want to insult them in a more meaningful way (e.g., It's fucking pathetic to think your forceful sexual behavior makes you anything but a coward, afraid of connecting with another human being. Oh, and a sexist pig!) There are a LOT worse things than having a small dick in this world, and I want them to know they are acting like those terrible things, and that I, for one, will never, ever tolerate this goddamn fucking bullshit.