'Xena: Warrior Princess' Reboot Really Real

"XENA: WARRIOR PRINCESS" IS MAKING A COMEBACK. HOLD YOUR CENTAURS BECAUSE I AM LOSING MY MIYIYIYIYIIIIIND. As someone who chronically obsesses over alternative universes while retaining very little information about them, I cannot tell you how much I am looking forward to this. Like, I love Xena so much that one time I made her bustier armor thing out of paper mache and 3-D paint and wore it for Halloween. It was awesome (evidence provided here).

For some reason, though, people (including Lucy Lawless herself) are saying that Lucy Lawless likely won't be able to "take on the title role at this point in her life." Um, hold up, what? What is "Xena: Warrior Princess" without Lucy Lawless AS XENA? Everyone's all, "Oh, we're sure she'll be involved in some capacity," and I'm all, "UHHHHH Robert Downey Jr. is FIFTY and also Iron Man, so explain to me how a 47-year-old Lucy Lawless is TOO OLD to be Xena the goddamn warrior princess?????" SORT IT OUT, HOLLYWOOD.  

It also turns out, however, that having a gay old time won't just be reserved for "The Flintstones" anymore; Xena will be gay as hell. According to writer Javier Grillo-Marxuach, "There is no reason to bring back Xena if it is not there for the purpose of fully exploring a relationship that could only be shown subtextually [sic] in first-run syndication in the 1990s." WE LOVE IT, JAVIER.

But, #BringBackLucy.