Margarita Monday is also National Margarita Day. Leave. Work. Now.

Do you have any idea how rare an occurrence this is? The next time National Margarita Day is going to fall on a #MargaritaMonday, I'm going to be nearing my thirties. How near? YOU'LL NEVER KNOW. Take this opportunity as an excuse to leave work ten minutes early (or cancel your night job, I don't know your life) and head to the nearest bar. Not LITERALLY the nearest bar, you buffoon, I mean the nearest bar that you KNOW serves a good margarita.

If you're a biddie on a budget and don't plan on going out, however, here are my go-to, never-fail ratios:

OPTION 1: SINGLE MARG, FROM SCRATCH. 2 shots of tequila, 1 shot of triple sec, 1 shot of FRESH SQUEEZED lime juice. Roll the lime on the counter as you press firmly on it to break up some of the pulp fibers so you can get more juice out of it. To dust the rim, slice a lime wedge down the middle and run it around the rim. Dip that glass in salt and smack that lime wedge on the rim for garnish because you're classy as fuck.

OPTION 2: BIG BATCH, STORE BOUGHT MIX. Acquire one (1) 1.75L pre-made margarita mix (Jose Cuervo will suffice. You're going for quantity, not quality. NOTE: SOME MIXES ALREADY HAVE TEQUILA IN THEM. DO WHAT YOU WISH WITH THIS INFORMATION), one (1) 750mL bottle of tequila, and one (1) gallon of water. Pour the water out. It's National Margarita Day. The only hydration you'll be getting is from the ice cubes that melt in your margarita. Pour the handle of pre-made tequila mix into the gallon jug. Pour the fifth of tequila into to gallon jug (or less, if you're not fully committed to having margaritas worth a damn). Shove some ice cubes into through the slightly too small opening. As they melt throughout the evening, add more ice cubes. This will provide a means for extra, albeit minimal, hydration. It will also weaken the margaritas the deeper you get into your evening, which is probably a good thing/you won't. notice anyway. Serve in rimmed glasses or out of the gallon jug with straws. No judgement here.

AS ALWAYS DRINK RESPONSIBLY, ACQUIRE A DESIGNATED DRIVER AND/OR TELL YOUR BEST FRIEND/SIGNIFICANT OTHER TO HIDE YOUR KEYS ON OR IN THEIR PERSON. HAPPY NATIONAL MARGARITA DAY.